Jew1: Hey! Those rules were good for the desert, but here I’ll do as I please.

Jew2: What do you please?

Jew3: I don’t know, thank you.

Narrator: G-d decided he had better make it perfectly clear that the laws still applied.

Jew 4: Sure the laws still apply, but in the desert G-d could get you if you did something wrong, but in Israel, G-d will never notice. I won’t even live near anyone else. I’ll have my own farm.

Narrator: G-d made a ceremony in Israel as soon as they got there, and when they crossed the Jordan, they put took some rocks, wrote the whole torah on them, and then they put the rocks in the Jordan river and also on on Mt. Gerizim and Mt. Eval.

Jew 4: What did they do that for?

Jew 5: Well, it was like writing the Torah all over the Land of Israel so that everyone would know that Israel is for keeping the Torah.

Moses told them in the desert that 6 tribes would say amen to the blessings and 6 would say amen to the curses.

Moses: OK Shimon, Levi, Yehudah, Yisachar, Yoseph and Binyamin tribes, you're on the mountain for the blessings.

Zebulun: Hey, how come we never get any of the good stuff in Zebulun?

Asher: With a name like Zebulun, what do you expect?

Zebulun: Well, G-d didn’t pick you either Asher.

Asher: That’s OK, we’re just a little tribe.

Narrator: Actually, those tribes to the tribes who were more on the periphery went to mount Eval. The other tribes, Reuven, Gad, Asher, Zebulun and Dan and Naftali were all on the mountain for curses.

Reuven: Gee thanks.

Moses: Well, it’s not which mountain you’re on, it’s what you do with your life. OK everybody, line up on your mountains. Levites in the valley.

Levi: Hey, I thought you said we were on the good mountain.

Moses: Well, some of you will be on the mountain of blessing, and some will be in the valley.

Levi2: What are we gonna do in the valley?

Moses: In the valley, you call out the blessings and curses.

Everyone: So what do we all do?

Moses: You say "amen".

Jew6: Even to the curses?

Moses: Let me show you what I mean. Now you 6 tribes over here, you six over there, and you Levites some over there and some in between. Now, Levites, face Mt. Gerizim, and say "blessed is anyone who doesn’t make little secret idols." Now everyone, what do you think you say?

Jew 7: Amen?

Moses: Right on, you got it. Let’s try it.

Levites: Blessed is anyone who doesn’t make little secret idols.

Crowd: Amen.

Moses: Good. Now let’s try a curse.

Jew 1: Do we have to?

Moses: Yes, G-d made me do it. Now Levites, turn to the Mt. Avel crowd and say, "cursed is one who hits his parents when no one is looking and then they don’t tell anyone because they’re too nice about it."

Levites: Cursed is one who hits his parents when no one is looking and then they don’t tell anyone because they’re too nice about it.

Crowd: Amen.

Moses: I think you have the hang of it. Blessed is anyone who doe not take advantage of widows, orphans, disabled people, and blind people.

Levites: Blessed is anyone who doe not take advantage of widows, orphans, disabled people, and blind people.

Moses: Cut! Face Gerizim not Eval!

Levites: Blessed is anyone who does not take advantage of widows, orphans, disabled people, and blind people.

Crowd: Amen.

Jew 3: Moses, I have a question.

Moses: Ask, my son.

Jew3: How come you picked these things for the blessings and curses?

Moses: Well, I don’t need to curse people or bless those who do things in public. We can take care of them in court. But those who quietly do the right thing or who quietly violate the law, they need a blessing or a curse. Now you all listen up to these laws. If you follow them you will be united under G-d’s banner. If you don’t follow them, your whole country will fall apart. People will wonder what makes us a country to begin with. You must stick together and follow the Torah.

Crowd: Amen.

Moses: I think you got the hang of it. Now go conquer Israel and make it the best place ever.