Scene I

Narrator I: "The true Korach story", by Rabbi Joel M. Finkelstein, based on the Torah and the Midrash.

Narrator II: When the Jewish people were organized in the desert, according to their tribes, surrounding the tabernacle, mishkan, or the Temple, different families were located in different parts of the camp. Some were camping north, south, east or west of the tabernacle. On the south side, were the families of Kehat, close relatives of Moses, and near them was the tribe of Reuven, the first born. Neither of them were too happy back then.

Korach: How come uncle Amram and his kids get all the honors? I’m Korach, son of Yitzhar, brother of Amram. That makes me a first cousin of Moshe. Moshe, Aharon, and Miriam, they get all the good jobs- leader, Chief Cohen, prophet. What do I get? I’m the first born to my father. Moshe is not even first born. And what is my job? I get to carry the ark or the holy menorah. Big deal. How come I never get any of the cool stuff like splitting the sea or being chief justice? If you ask me, it’s one big rip-off.

Datan: Yeh, I feel the same way. I’m from the tribe of Reuven. We’re the first born. We should really be the big cheese. But no, Judah has to take all the limelight. Judah gets to be right near Moshe and Aharon, and we get stuck next to you guys.

Korach: Yeh, you get stuck next to us guys. Hey, wait a minute! What’s so bad about that?

Datan: Well, you said yourself that you’re a nobody.

Korach: Yeh, I said it, doesn’t mean you can say it, too, bud.

Datan: Who you callin’ "Bud"?

Ohn: Hey, what’s all this arguing?

Datan: Oh, we’re just arguing about who’s a nobody.

Korach: No he’s arguing about who’s a nobody. I’m no nobody. Nobody calls me a nobody.

Ohn: You think you’re a nobody. What about me? Did anyone ever hear of Ohn son of Pelet?

Korach, Datan: No.

Ohn: See, I told you. Nobody ever heard of me. But why shouldn’t they? After all, I’m from the tribe of Reuven, firstborn son of Jacob. Can’t get more important than that.

Korach: And after all, we were all at Sinai, weren’t we?

All: Yeh!

Aviram: After all, even Moshe son of Amram called us all "holy". Didn’t he?

All: Yeh!

Ohn: After all, what does he think we are, chopped liver?

Nasi I: Did someone say "chopped liver"? I’m hungry. And by the way, my mom makes the best chopped liver.

Mrs. Korach: Hey, look here, I may not make the best chopped liver, but I’m his wife.

Nasi II: Who, Korach’s wife?

Mrs. Korach: Yeh, that’s me. Now what’s this thing I hear about how all the Levites have to shave all their hair?

Nasi III: Well, yeh, that’s what Moses says. When the Levites are made into Levites, you know, this ceremony thing, they have to shave all their hair.

Mrs. Korach: Hey, Korach, if you shave all your hair, you’ll look like Mr. Clean.

All: Haaaaa.. Ha ha ha…

Mrs. Korach: What does he think you are, a bunch of goats at sheering time? What else is he gonna make you do in order to become some kind of a Levi?

Korach: He’s gonna wave us.

Mrs. Korach: Wave you? What does he think y’all are, a bunch of sheep? Wave you? Why don’t we all give him the big wave? Bye bye son of Amram.

All: (Waving, mocking) Bye bye, son of Amram.

Mrs. Korach: Why don’t you go and ask that son of Amram a few questions. Tell me, what is he teaching these days, excuse me, what is he telling you that G-d says?

Nasi IV: We have to wear fringes. He calls ‘em tzitzit. The garment has to have a blue thread on it called te-chay-let.

Mrs. Korach: Ask him if a talis which is all blue still needs another blue thread on it.

Nasi V: He says that a house needs a mezuzah.

Mrs. Korach: Ask him if a house filled with holy Torah’s needs a mezuzah. So he’ll tell you that it doesn’t need one, see, and then you’ll say, "Hey, if we are all holy, what do we need you for, Moshe?

All: Haaa.. haaaa….

Scene II

Narrator III: So Korach, Datan, Aviram, and many others went to Moshe and talked to him. Meanwhile, Ohn’s wife talked him out of going.

(just Ohn and Mrs. Ohn)

Ohn: Hey, honey, did you hear? We’re gonna go to Moshe and ask him some really hard questions, and when he doesn’t know what to say, we’re gonna tell him that he’s just makin’ all this stuff up and that he can’t be the leader and make his brother the head Cohen. It’s not fair.

Mrs. Ohn: Sweetie, listen to me. Who started all this?

Ohn: Korach.

Mrs. Ohn: So let me get this straight. What are you gonna get out of this? If Moshe wins, you’ll be his student. And if Korach wins, you’ll be his student. You’ll still just be plain old Ohn. Nothing else.

Ohn: You’re right, honey, this probably won’t turn out too good for me, but I already promised them I would join them. They’ll make fun of me.

Mrs. Ohn: Don’t worry, honey, I’ll stand at the door and chase them away. (exit Ohn)

All: Hey Ohn, aren’t you coming with us?

Mrs. Ohn: I’m sorry, he’s in the bathroom right now.

Nasi V: Oh, sorry. OK he can catch up, but don’t be late. Boy are we gonna get that Moshe son of Amram.

Mrs. Ohn: Yeh, right, way to go. You tell ‘em. (aside) Like you’re not gonna get swallowed up alive! Heh! (laugh).

Scene III

Korach: Hey Moshe?

Moshe: Yes, cousin, what can I do for you?

Korach: You see this talis?

Moshe: Yeh, what about it?

Korach: It’s already all blue. Does it still need a crummy little blue string on it?

Moshe: Why of course, Hashem said so.

All: Ha ha ha…

Korach: How about a house filled with holy torah scrolls. Does it still need a little tiny mezuzah to remind you of Hashem?

Moshe: Of course, Hashem said so.

All: ha, ha ha….

Korach: Hey son, of Amram, I got another one for ya.

Moshe: (harsher) Yes, Korach, son of Yitzhar, my cousin, what do you want this time?

Korach: If a whole congregation is holy, like you say we are, what do we need you for?

All: Ha, ha ha….(loud)

Scene IV

Moshe: (aside) Oy vey, this is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. First they sinned with the golden calf, then with the complaining for food, then with the spies, now this. They are really gonna be in big trouble. Let’s let the crowd die down, let them sleep on it, and maybe tomorrow they’ll come to their senses.

(to the crowd) Listen here, folks. Tomorrow you will know who is holy and whom G-d chose. This is what you do, take frying pans, you Korach, and all the folks over here. And put some incense on them, and whoever G-d chooses, he is holy. But by the way, you Levites. Isn’t it enough that G-d chose you from all the tribes to be special to Him, and now you wanna be Cohanim too? Rav Lachem b’nai Levi, you have enough, you Leviim.

Also, I wanna talk to the Reuven people. Tell them to come see me.

Datan and Aviram: We ain’t comin'.

Datan: Isn't’ it enough that you took us out of a land flowing with milk and honey, called Egypt, to bring us to die in the desert? Now you wanna tell us what to do? Forget it.

Aviram: Yeh, you sure didn’t bring us to a land of milk and honey and give us vineyards and stuff. You can pull our eyes out. We don’t wanna talk to you, man.

Moshe: (to G-d) G-d, please don’t accept their offerings. I know you are all like merciful and stuff, but please don’t make a fool out of me. I never took anything from them.

Scene V

Narrator IV: The next day, Korach, Datan, Aviram, and 250 leaders gathered with their frying pans to challenge Aharon to a showdown.

Hashem: Moshe! Aharon! Go away from their tents and I will destroy this wicked congregation in one second.

Moshe and Aharon: No! Don’t do it! Master of spirits, You know they are not all the same. You know their spirits. Will one man sin and You will be angry at the whole congregation?

Hashem: Moshe!

Moshe: Yes?

Hashem: Get away from the tents of Korach, Datan, and Aviram.

Moshe: (to all) Move away from these wicked men and their families. If these men die a normal death, G-d did not send me and I am a fake. But if G-d makes a miracle and the earth swallows them up and eats them, then you will know that these men have gone against G-d and that everything I have said is true.

Korach, Mrs. Korach, Datan and Aviram: Help! (fall back, scream)

Narrator I: Then the earth opened and swallowed the wicked ones and their families. Then as everyone ran away, a big fire came and ate up the 250 leaders who brought incense.

All: Help! Get us out of here!

Scene VI

Narrator II: But the people were still not convinced.

All: You killed the people of G-d.

Narrator III: Now Hashem was really mad, and a plague began among the Jews.

Moshe: Oy, not again. Let’s see, praying to G-d won’t help this time. He’ll never forgive them after all that. First G-d spared and saved the Jews, and now they’re still complaining. Hmm. Let’s see, when I was on Mt. Sinai, the angels taught me a trick. Maybe I could use it now. Aharon, go take a fire pan and run through the camp with this pan with incense. Maybe that will stop the plague.

Scene VII

Narrator IV; Sure enough, Aharon ran through the crowd with his frying pan, and made everyone do teshuvah and the plague stopped.

Even after that the people still couldn’t believe that G-d really chose Moshe and his brother Aharon, so Hashem made a contest between Aharon and the heads of other tribes. Each put a branch in the Tabernacle at night. Whoever’s branch blossomed would win. In the morning, only Aharon’s branch blossomed. It even grew almonds. This was the final proof that Moshe is true, and his Torah is true. As a matter of fact, legend has it that if you listen real hard as you pass through the Sinai desert, the sons of Korach can still be heard saying how true the Torah is. Let’s listen and see if we can hear.

Sons of Korach: (in the distance) Moshe, emet, vetorato emet. Moses is true and the torah is true.