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ASBEE Home Page > Learning > Tanach/Bible > Genesis/Bereishis > Vayishlach >

Vayishlach: Getting to Know You or See Ya Later?

In Parashat Vayishlach there are two encounter stories. The first is of
Jacob with the mysterious angel and the second is with Esav. In the end
of both meetings, there is an awkward exchange. At the end of the
encounter with the angel, Jacob says, "What is your name?" and the
apparition responds, "What is it that you ask of my name?" Why did Jacob
wish to know the angel's name and why wouldn't the angel tell him?  At
the end of the Esav encounter Esav suggests that "Let us go and walk and
I will walk across from you?" Jacob responds with a fib. "My Master
knows that the children are tender and the herds giving suck are a care
to me, and if they overdrive them one day, all the flocks will die."
Then Jacob says he would rather go slowly "until I come to my master in
Seir." Why would Jacob promise something he knew he wouldn't fulfill?
Who gave him the right to lie yet again?

The Hizkuni (13th cent. France) solves the first problem by comparing it
to the parting of two new acquaintances. If you had an encounter with
someone new and then you made up, you might take their name so you could
stay in touch. The angel told him that there was no possibility of
staying in touch. As Ramban explains, one can't pray to  an angel, so
why would Jacob need to know his name?

Based on this Hizkuni, we can now explain the broader meaning of the
encounter with the angel.     The angel experience prepared Jacob in
every way for his encounter. Jacob was fearful. The angel taught him
that he had nothing to fear and that he would be victorious. As in a
wrestling match, he may need to use underhanded methods to win. He would
gain Esav's blessing. The question was, how should Jacob relate to this
now friendly brother? The angel provided the answer. "Why do you (Lama
zeh) ask for my name?" the angel said. Don't try to stay in touch, don't
strike up a new friendship. This was giving Jacob the license to do
whatever necessary to avoid further contact. We can also see a
linguistic link between Jacob's words and that of the angel. The angel
said "Why do you ( lama zeh) ask for my name?" When Esav offers to send
a entourage  with Jacob, Jacob responds, "Lama Zeh, what makes me find
favor in your eyes?" In both cases, the lamah zeh is used. Jacob learned
the attitude and the words from the angel. This is not the beginning of
a rapproachmant.  There will be no dialogue or future links. Jacob, like
the angel would go his own way. Jews forevermore would be part of a
totally distinct nation. The embrace of Esav would not sway Jacob from
forging a unique nation.

The lesson is an important one. At times there is a temptation to
respond to the embrace of others by giving up a little of ourselves in
return. Jacob tells us that if others wish to embrace us, it will have
to be on our terms. If Esav can only embrace us when we are Esav, then
we will never be Israel. If we want to be ourselves, we cannot become
overly taken by the overtures of others.