The First ‘Watergate’ Scandal:

Why Didn’t Moshe Enter the Promised Land?

By Rabbi Joel M. Finkelstein  
Act I, Scene I

(The people walk in in double file, as if they are carrying something. Then they sit in the front of the Bimah, looking out for Israel, and pantomiming speaking to each other. They are bewildered that Moshe is not coming into the land.)

Narrator 1: As you all know, Moshe never made it into the Holy Land, the land to which he had set out to deliver the Jews.

Narrator 2: Naturally, people started to wonder why. Let’s listen to the people gossiping among themselves at the time of Moshe’s death.

Datan: I’ll bet you didn’t hear that Moshe is not going to Israel?

Yagli: Nah, you’re kidding! Why wouldn’t Moshe go to Israel?

Eldad: Yeh, I mean, some people didn’t make it because they sinned, you know, the golden calf, the spy fiasco, but what did Moshe do to deserve this?

Medad: Well, maybe G-d got so mad at the rest of us that He got mad at Moshe, too. After all, he is the representative of the Jewish people!

Datan: Well, wait a second! Don’t forget how Moshe became a leader to begin with.

On: What happened then? I forgot.

Datan: Well, it all happened like this-

Act I, Scene II

(Moshe goes off on the Bimah on his own, behind the chairs. The people are carrying stuff on their shoulders and working hard, looking sad, pained.)

G-d: Moshe, Moshe.

Moshe I: Here I am!

G-d: Take off your shoes. This is holy ground. I am the G-d of your fathers. I have heard the cries of the people. I have come to save them.

Moshe I: What me? Go to Pharaoh? Who am I to go to Pharaoh?

G-d: Don’t worry, I will be with you. You have nothing to fear.

Moshe I: What if they ask me your name, who you are, what you are? What will I say? What can I say?

G-d: Tell them I am who I am. I am the G-d of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. That is my name forever.

Moshe I: Come on, G-d, they won’t believe me. They’ll say, “Yeh, right, G-d appeared to you? What else is new? That’s a good one.” You know those Jews.

G-d: You want proof? I’ll give you proof. What’s that in your hand?

Moshe I: A stick, a staff.

G-d: Throw it to the ground. See how it becomes a snake in your hand.

Moshe I: Cool.

G-d: If they don’t believe that, watch this. Put your right hand in, put your right hand out. (Moshe puts hand in and out) See how it is full of leprosy. Leprosy is what happens to people who talk against the Jewish people. And if they don’t believe that, take out some water from the Nile, put in on the ground and show them how it turns to blood.

Moshe I: But G-d!

G-d: That’s G-d of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov to you.

Moshe I: But G-d of Avraham, G-d of Yitchak, and G-d of Yaakov! I can’t even speak. I hurt my tongue as a child, and now I sound awful.

G-d: Who made people lame or deaf or challenged or sight impaired? Was it not I? Go now, and I will be with you.

Moshe I: Send someone else, please?!

G-d: (angry) I know Aharon is a better speaker than you are. But I have chosen you! He will help you. He will be happy. Now GO!!

Act II, Scene I

(Datan stands up among the people. The people look out for Israel. They are sad Moshe is dying.)

Datan: You see, that must have been it. From then on, G-d was a little disappointed with Moshe. That was the beginning of the end right there.

Yagli: Hey, look, G-d is very merciful. That was a long time ago.

Geuel: Yeh, if G-d wasn’t happy with Moshe then, he should never have chosen him to begin with.

Betzalel: I have an idea. I think it was something else.

Aviram: Oh yeh, what?

Betzalel: Remember when everyone complained that they wanted meat? That they remembered how good the food was in Egypt?

Amiel: So what’s that his fault?

Betzalel: Well, let me remind you what went on. It was a little out of control.

Act II, scene II

(The crowd gathers Maneh from heaven as Moses speaks. They motion that they are hungry and mad.)

Moshe II: Why me? Why me? Did I give birth to these people? I mean why do I have to carry these people like a mother carries her infant? Where am I gonna get meat from for all these people? Gotleib’s is closed, Rubenstein’s is closed. I can’t take it. I’m all alone. It’s too much to bear. Kill me now. I can’t take it.

G-d: No problem. Get me 70 men, elders, judges, and I’ll take some of your spirit and put it on them. And tell the people they will eat meat tomorrow. They’ll eat it until it comes out of their noses.

Moses II: There are 600,000 foot soldiers, and you say you will give them meat for a month! Could we kill enough sheep and cattle for them? If we gathered all the fish in the sea could we feed them?

G-d: Will G-d’s hand be short? You will see if my word comes about or not!

Act II, scene III

(The people look out for Israel. They are sad Moshe is dying.)

Nachbi: Wow, that was really pretty big chutzpa on the part of Moshe.

Vafsi: If that’s what happened. But that’s not what happened. This is what happened.

Extra: Take 2.

Act II, scene IV

(The crowd gathers Maneh from heaven as Moses speaks. They motion that they are hungry, hot, and mad.)

Moshe II: You’ll never satisfy them. If you kill all the fish in the sea they will never be happy. What’s the point of giving them anything?

G-d: Well, do you want them to say that G-d’s hand is short?

Act II, scene V

(The people look out for Israel. They are sad Moshe is dying.)

Nachbi: Well, I guess it’s not as bad as I thought.

Aviram: Don’t you all know? Everyone knows, it was the hitting of the rock. Come on, that was the big one.

Act III, scene I

(The people are thirsty, hot, and mad.)

Datan: If only we had died with everyone else!

Amiel: Why did you bring us here to die?

Geuel: This is not a land of milk and honey!

G-d (to Moshe): Get everyone together. Tell them about this rock. Tell them it will bring forth water.

Moses III: Come on! Gather together. Listen here, you rebels! You’ve been complaining all along. I’m sick of it. You think we can’t bring forth water? We’ll show you if we can bring forth water from this rock. (hits rock twice) Wack! Wack!

G-d: Because you have not believed in Me to sanctify My Name, therefore you will not bring this congregation to the land which I have given them.

Act III, scene II

(The people look out for Israel. They are sad Moshe is dying.)

Palti: Well, what’s the big deal about this? So he didn’t speak to it or about it. So he hit it. So what?

Yigal: Yeh, and besides, refusing to work for G-d or questioning G-d’s strength is  a much bigger deal than hitting a rock!

Vafsi: Yeh, I don’t get this whole little rock thing.

On: Maybe Moshe is giving the impression that G-d is mad at them. Moshe is supposed to convey G-d’s word to the people. If he conveyed the wrong message, that’s a big mistake.

Yagli: Maybe it’s because he called them rebels.

Medad: Maybe it’s because Moshe said he and Aharon could take out the water. He should have said that G-d will take out the water.

Rabbi Finkelstein: Well, what do you think? What was the greatest sin?

Audience:________________

Rabbi Finkelstein: Let’s take a vote.

Who thinks Moshe was ineligible to enter Israel because of his refusal to initially accept the job?

Who thinks it was due to the many sins of Israel, which rubbed off on him? (Abravanel)

Who thinks it was due to his questioning G-d’s authority in the case of the meat shortage? (Rabbi Akiva in Midrash Sifrei)

Who thinks it was due to his hitting the rock?

(Rabbi Finkelstein wraps it up, and everyone bows.) 

Cast:

G-d
Moses I

Moses II

Moses III,

Datan

Aviram

On

Narrator I, 2 lines__________

Narrator II, 2 lines___________

Yagli, 3 lines____________

Eldad, 2 lines_________

Medad

Yigal

Palti, 2 lines_________

Nachbi

Ge-uel

Vafsi

Bezalel, 3 lines_______

Amiel

extra, 2 words________