(Playing around)

(Jacob and Joseph sit together)

Jacob: Ah, Joseph, son of my most beloved wife. I remember the first time I met her.

Joseph: You mean at the well, dad?

Jacob: Yes, that was it. The minute I saw her coming along with her sheep, I knew that it was a match made in heaven. My mother’s niece, just the nice kinda girl that my mother wanted me to find. And she was so beautiful. I was so excited to see her, I lifted a rock it usually took ten shepherds to move.

Joseph: Really, Dad? How did you do it?

Jacob: Well, Joseph, when you’re in love, you can do a lot of things you never thought you could. But I also cried.

Joseph: You cried when you met Mom?

Jacob: Yes, because something told me that we would never grow old together, that our children would go through great hardship… But I loved her just the same. (pause) So tell me, how are your brothers doing?

Joseph: Well, you really want to know?

Jacob: Well…

Joseph: So since you insist, I’ll tell you. I think I saw them eat the sheep without shechting it first, you know, not kosher.

Jacob: A shanda!

Joseph: And I think I heard them making fun of Bilha and Zilpa’s kids.

Jacob: You mean, Dan, Naftali, Gad and Asher?

Joseph: Yep, you bet, they called them squirts, unwanted, nobody’s.

Jacob: Well, I never! And what else?

Joseph: I saw them talking to the local girls, you know, the canaanites, the Girgashites, the Hittites.

Jacob: Not the Hittites?!

Joseph: Yes, Dad, the Hittites, it’s true.

Jacob: Well, at least I have one son who is loyal and good.

Joseph: You mean me?

Jacob: Yes you my son. I expect great things from you.

Scene II: The Dreams

Zebulun: Hey, where’d ya get that neat coat?

Joseph: My Dad gave it to me.

Asher: What do you mean MY dad?

Judah: Yeh, do you think you’re the only child around here?

Isachar: Hey, guys, you know what happened to Uncle Esav?

Naftali: What?

Isachar: When grandma Rivka didn’t like him, he was not part of the family anymore.

Levi: Yeh, you don’t see Uncle Yishmael coming for dinner too often either.

Dan: Sure don’t.

Shimon: I think this kid brother and our Dad are trying to get rid of us.

Levi: Yeh, if we don’t do something real soon, we’ll be grazin’ sheep in Jordan, far away from home.

Joseph: By the way, guys.

Judah: What now, big guy?

Joseph: I had a dream.

Dan: Well, woopie ya’ little upstart.

Joseph: No, you don’t understand, not just a silly dream. This was more like a prophecy.

Judah: Now the kid brother thinks he’s some kind of a prophet.

Levi: Exactly. Paw Paw was a prophet, Grandpa Yitzchak was a prophet, now little JOJO thinks he’s a prophet. What about us? What’s gonna happen to us?

Shimon: We’re gonna be thrown out with the dishwater like Yishmael if we don’t watch out.

Joseph: Now, listen, it is really cool.

All: ooooh..

Joseph: We were all gathering wheat.

Zevulun: Stop right there, big boy. It already is fiction. You never so much as lift a finger around here.

Joseph: No, seriously, listen up. (confident) All of the sudden, my bundle stood up straight and all of your bundles bowed down to my bundles.

All: Ahhhh…. (disgust)

Levi: It’s worse than I thought. He don’t just wanna throw us out of the family. He wants to make us all be slaves to him!

All: Booo…

Narrator: The next day, Joseph came back with another dream.

Dan: Hey, dream boy. Any wiseguy dreams last night?

Joseph: Well, now that you mention it, I did have this really cool dream last night.

All: Oh! Ha! Fla! (all mixed together)

Judah: I gotta hear this one.

Levi: Make it a good one, kid. "Cuz if it’s anything like the last one, you’re a gonner.

Joseph: Well, it was just the sun and the moon and eleven stars.

Naftali: Real romantic, ey?

All: Ha! Plah!

Joseph: Well, the sun and the moon and the eleven stars were all bowing to me!

Shimon: That’s it, you little brat!

Levi: Get over here you little two bit…

Judah: (Patronly) You better watch yourself, boy.

Reuven: Look, I’m going to tell Dad about this. Maybe he’ll do something.

Narrator: The boys went to tell their father.

Levi: Dad, our little brother seems to have a superiority complex.

Jacob: Whatever do you mean?

Shimon: Well, he has these dreams.

Jacob: What could be so bad about a dream?

Naftali: He said our wheat would bow down to his.

Jacob: Ah, Joseph the dreamer. So you have dreams of grandeur? Well, I don’t see much harm. The boy thinks he’ll have more wheat than you have…

Judah: But dad, let him tell you his second dream.

Joseph: Dad, it was amazing. I saw the sun and the moon and 11 stars bowing down to me! To me!

Jacob: Now, Joseph, you know that is foolish. Why the stars are your brothers, maybe you will be the best, but you don’t expect me to bow to you now? And as to the moon, why that would be your mother, may she rest in peace. You know she’s been gone some years now. You don’t expect her to bow to you, do you?

Joseph: Well…

All: ha ha ha! Rigem fragem…

Jacob: (aside) But then again, you never know.. you never know…. My Joseph! My Joseph!

Scene III Yaakov and Yosef

Yaakov: So, son, you’ve been very helpful staying with me these last few weeks.

Joseph: Gee, Dad, I feel so special staying at home with you. I learn so much from you.

Yaakov: Well, son, you’ll need to know everything I can teach. Who knows? One day you may need it. Look, I want to send you to go check up on your brothers.

Joseph: Hineni, Dad. I’m ready to go where ever you tell me.

Yaakov: Now, I know the boys have been giving you a hard time. They don’t think it’s fair that you get to spend all this time alone with me, and they do not. But they don’t understand. Rachel was the love of my life. My first love. She died and when I look at you, I am reminded of the beauty of her soul, her strength of character. You go make sure your brothers are up to good things.

Joseph: You know, Dad, ever since that dream I had, well, they don’t talk to me too much anymore.

Yaakov: Don’t worry, Joseph. You know how to handle yourself. You’re my boy. Why, when I was young I fought with Esav, I even fought with an angel Esav sent to fend me off. I won. You too can fend for yourself. I know you can. The son of Rachel can do it all. But before we go, let me tell you some laws about the importance of escorting people to their destiny. As a matter of fact, let me walk with you up to Hevron, then you can go. By the way, a lot of important people are buried in Hevron. My parents, my grandparents, even Adam and Eve are buried here.

Yoseph: Why did grandfather Avraham say that we had to go down to Egypt for 400 years to be slaves. Why should we be slaves to anyone?

Yaakov: We don’t know, son. We just don’t know.. As I was saying, it is very important to escort a guest to the place they are going. You never know what could happen on the way.

Scene IV: The Sale

Joseph: Let’s see, they’re supposed to be in Shechem. Where are they? They usually graze around here, ah.. excuse me?

Man: Yes? Oh, yes, you must be looking for your brothers.

Joseph: Well, actually, I, I…

Man: Not to worry, they went to Dotan. Just a few hours away. You’ll find them. For sure you’ll find them.

Joseph: Funny, that guy looked just like an angel my father once told me about.

Shimon: Hey, here comes the dream boy.

Levi: Let’s get him.

Zebulun: Yeh, we’ll tell Dad that an unfortunate incident occurred and he seems to have been eaten by a bear or maybe a lion…

All: yeh, go get ‘im..

Reuven: Come on, guys, children of Israel, don’t spill blood. Throw him in that pit over there.

(aside) I’ll bring him back to Father and I’ll be a big hero…

All: Get him!

Narrator: So they took off his coat and threw him in a dry well. Then, they had lunch.

Asher: OK, let’s eat lunch.

Naftali: Yeh, I’m hungry.

Joseph: Help! Get me out of here. Scorpians!

Dan: Did you hear something?

Joseph: don’t do this. Do you know what this will do to our father? I have big plans. Big dreams. Get me out of here!

Gad: Didn’t hear a thing. What’s for lunch. (boys walk away)

Narrator: At this point, it is not clear what happened. So we will give you two versions.

Take one!

(Arabs walk by)

Mussa: Walid, you see this? There’s this good lookin’ kid in a pit.

Salim: I bet we could get a pretty penny for him.

(other arabs pass by)

Salim: Slave for sale! 20 Silver for a slave! Good merchandise!

Joseph: Help!

Amir: Sure, looks good, we’ll take him. We’ve got some spices goin’ down to Egypt. We’ll toss him in this spice caravan. It’s a deal.

(back to the brothers, seated, eating)

Levi: pass the mustard.

Shimon: how’s the slaw?

Judah: Now, boys, this is our brother, our flesh and blood, we’re talkin’ about here. Let’s sell him to the Arabs, and our hands will be clean.

All: Yeh… whatever--- I guess…

Reuven: Hey, guys! Joseph is gone! Someone must have stole him!

All: Oh no! What have we done? Joseph!

Narrator: Take II:

(back to the brothers, seated, eating)

Levi: pass the mustard.

Shimon: how’s the slaw?

Judah: Now, boys, this is our brother, our flesh and blood, we’re talkin’ about here. Let’s sell him to the Arabs, and our hands will be clean.

All: Yeh… whatever--- I guess…

(get up, back to pit)

Levi: Yoo hoo, Joseph, time to go for a little trip.

Joseph: Help!

(Arabs pass by)

Shimon: Boy for sale! 20 silver pieces.

Amir: Sure, looks good, we’ll take him. We’ve got some spices goin’ down to Egypt. We’ll toss him in this spice caravan. It’s a deal.

Narrator: And that’s how Joseph came to Egypt. We’re not sure if the brothers or some Arab kidnappers did it. The rest is history. Joseph did really well at whatever he did, but he landed out in jail anyway, in jail he did a favor to Pharaoh’s butler, and before you knew it he was second in command of Egypt. When a famine hit, Joseph’s brothers came down to Egypt. He accused Benjamin of stealing his royal cup and he declared Benjamin a slave and sent the rest home. Judah pleaded for his brother Benjamin.

Scene V: Judah confronts Joseph

Judah: Look here, Viceroy. I promised my father to bring the boy back. I said if I didn’t bring him back, it would be my sin for eternity. My father lost his wife, the love of his life, and one of her sons died already. Now this Benjamin is the only one left from that beloved wife. If I go back to Canaan without him, I will take my father to the grave. I cannot bear it. Please, take me, and let my brother go home to his father. For how can I bear to see the look on my father’s face, and watch him die?

Joseph: Alright Judah, cut the theatrics. I know who you are. I’m Joseph, the one you sold down here to begin with. You didn’t seem too concerned with Dad back then. By the way, is he still alive after all you’ve put him through? Hey, guys, say something, it’s me, Joseph, remember, the dreams, the sheep, the moon and the stars.